What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
10.06.2025 03:43
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Who then, do I blame.?
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
It has been said that people with ADHD can often hyperfocus. Can that be an advantage?
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I am 13 and I am planning to run away. What should I do to succeed?
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
All international travelers should get measles vaccine, CDC says - OregonLive.com
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Drinking coffee could help you age better, according to this Harvard study. - Stewartville Star
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I don,t even have a pension.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Trump Media Gets Closer to Truth Social Bitcoin ETF Debut With SEC Filing - Decrypt
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
What makes you feel guilty the most?
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
U.S. growth forecast cut sharply by OECD as Trump tariffs sour global outlook - CNBC
My family never makes their pension either.
I was seconnd youngest,
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
4 Ups & 5 Downs From WWE SmackDown (6 June - Results & Review) - WhatCulture.com
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
She loved him until the end.
If babies could write, what questions would they ask on Quora?
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
This is soul school!.
Can you list every album you have ever listened to?
Why did i forgive my father ?
But ive been too sick for many years..
(And it was in our own minds.)
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
So, i spoilt her more .
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Especially a lifetime of it.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
She was in good health!
I have no regrets .
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
So whats the point in blame.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Im still living with it.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
When she asked me how she looked .
Put me off passion for life!!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I was very sick at this time too.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
What did i know ?
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I was 9 years of age.
I will be 64.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I think the readers, may guess!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Would this be the day?
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
She found it foreign!.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
My life is so biszare .
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I write beautiful poetry .
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
He knew the spot.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
One cannot live in the past .
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I said to her
I never cut or harmed myself..
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I waited trembling.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I couldn’t, believe it.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
But, we were locked up after school.
It was going to be , some day.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Was to survive, this bastard.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
We were not on the streets..
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
But it wasn’t much.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Ive learnt so much.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
We all went to grammer schools
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
She married twice! .
All the time i was locked up.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
And i lived it daily.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Comes on , in middle age.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
She wouldn,t have been !
I could never make a relationship work though!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I was scared of men, in general
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!